Secrets of Magic No 48: Love is all that matters

Love is the most amazing substance in the universe. Love binds people together like glue and washes away problems like a solvent. With love, we can survive the most grievous accidents, but without love, even in the richest house, we can perish of loneliness.

When we are alone, when we have not been cared for by our families, or when we have been betrayed by a lover, spouse, or friend, we often contract around that pain. The act of loving itself seems to be dangerous, exposing us to the risk of being rejected, or the exposure of our most vulnerable needs and fears. We protect ourselves, vowing not to show affection until we receive it, until we know that it is safe.

This is an example of the secret that to get, we must first give. When we give love, we get love. We don’t have to start by loving people who have hurt us or do not mean us well. We can start with the people who do love us. Let them know how we feel.

If we are not connected to others, we can take the first steps to establish connections. When we explore the power of Mars we learn to join social groups as a volunteer. This practice brings us into contact with others. The more time we spend with people, the greater the likelihood that we will establish a meaningful relationship with one or two friends.

There are many people who are lonely and in need of friends and companionship. These include our most vulnerable groups, the very young and very old. We can connect with children through big brother and sister programs and volunteer youth programs. Nursing homes, assisted living centers, and senior centers are always in need of volunteers to interact with the many elderly people who have few or no friends or family members to visit them.

Love is the foundation of all our magic. The most important thing we can do is to learn to love ourselves. For some of us, this will be easy, as we grew up well cared for in happy homes. Others of us who experienced more difficult childhoods and faced greater adversity may find it harder to embrace ourselves. By loving others, caring for their well-being, we learn that love is possible in our lives, that we can receive love in return, and we can give love to ourselves.
I love and I am loved.

Practice: Sustaining connections

Who do you love? Do they know that you love them? Tell the people you love that you love them. It may be hard, or seem silly. Surely they know by your actions? The practice of making yourself speak the words, giving them physical presence in the world, makes the connection tangible and unmistakable.

If starting with people is too big a step, w practice loving an animal or a plant. Tell the pet or plant about your feelings of affection.

Is there someone in your life you would like to be your friend? Do they know that? Your overtures might not be obvious. Invite them out for coffee or tea. Let them know you are interested in spending time with them. Then, spend the time!

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